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Ingleside at Rock Creek Blog

IRC Blog
Posted: Wednesday, July 15, 2020

An Independent Life: Why moving to be near the children isn’t always a good idea

When making plans for the future, many retirees consider selling the family home and relocating. Those with children may think about moving closer to them. There are so many wonderful reasons to live near family. But it’s also a decision that shouldn’t be made lightly.

Reviewing your answers to these 10 questions may help you make up your mind - or at least provide some insight before the For Sale sign goes up.

1. Are your kids on-board with the move?

If you would like to relocate to be closer to your children and grandchildren, have you had the conversation with them? Let them know it’s something you’d like to consider and give them plenty of time to think it over. Even if they’re the ones asking you to move, you still have several scenarios to contemplate.

2. What role do you want to play?

Do you want to be involved with your grandchildren on a daily basis? Will you be picking them up from school or do you want to mainly be available for soccer games, music concerts or other fun grandparent outings? Deciding ahead of time the role you would like to play can avoid disappointments later.

3. What are their expectations?

It’s better not to assume that everything will work out once you’re all living in the same city or neighborhood – or that everyone has the same expectations. You’ll need to have an honest conversation. Not all grandparents want to be the default babysitters and not all adult children want their parents overly involved in their lives.

4. Is this the location you’d choose?

Apart from being closer to your family, is this where you would like to live? Many retirees have a dream location or favorite vacation spot. It’s important to consider the trade-offs if you won’t be living in yours. Be honest about how you’ll feel. Will it be more than worth it or will you have pangs of regret?

5. How do you feel about everything you’ll leave behind?

Recognize and come to terms with what you’ll be moving away from. Are there lifelong friends you’ll no longer see? Do you have a strong social connection to the city where you now live? Don’t underestimate the value of already having a network in place, including your medical care.

6. How will you recreate your new life?

Think ahead about how you’ll be able to replace your old connections. For some, this may provide a great new adventure and they love having the excitement of new experiences. But others may struggle. It’s not always easy to make new friends, learn where the best restaurants are and locate a reliable dog sitter.

7. Is good health care available?

Depending on whether you’ll be moving into a city or a more rural or suburban area, make sure to check into the medical care that’s offered. Will there be a good selection for your personal doctors, dentists or physical therapists? Are there hospitals available nearby and how are they rated?

8. What will you do if the kids get transferred?

It’s not uncommon so you’ll want to give some serious thought to your plans if your child is transferred or needs to relocate. Would you pick up and follow them? Would you stay put? This is one of the biggest reasons for making sure you’re living a life that you find fulfilling and in a place that you enjoy.

9. Does the new location fit your lifestyle?

Regardless of how involved you’ll be in your grandchildren’s lives, it’s not a good idea to depend on your child and family to fill in the gaps. Don’t count on them for being your sole support system. You’ll want to find opportunities to connect to your new city as well as make friends and keep active.

Leaving one child to move closer to another, or choosing one child’s location over another can result in hurt feelings and resentment. If this is your situation, how will you handle it? Should you divide your time?

Some retirees solve this by moving into a retirement or Independent Living community. The lock-and-leave lifestyle makes it easy to travel and spend time with each family during the year.

Ready to give it a try?

If your answers to the above questions are positive, you may decide to go for it. However, it’s always easier to look before you leap. You may want to try a test run before you fully commit.

Spend some time at the new location and try to experience the life you would if you moved there. Find out about their hospitals and medical care, available opportunities to socialize and make friends, or any volunteer or part-time work possibilities.

Consider the financial impact

Most retirees are also interested in the effect a move might have on their finances. It’s easy to conduct cost-of-living comparisons with on-line research or a visit to your financial advisor. A better understanding ahead of a move can be helpful, especially regarding state and local taxes, property taxes and whether retirement income is taxed.

Ingleside at Rock Creek Independent Living

Deciding to either make an Independent Living community your home base or moving into one near your children can instantly make retirement easier and more fulfilling.

If you’re considering Ingleside at Rock Creek, you’ll know your home is secured so you can travel worry-free and enjoy spending time with the grandchildren. Not only will you begin your retirement life in a beautiful home, you’ll find everything you need to live a healthy and active life, including:

  • First-class amenities
  • A full social calendar of activities
  • Opportunities to easily meet your neighbors and make new friends at events and activities
  • Fitness center and heated pool
  • Delicious chef-prepared meals
  • Theater, library and card/game room
  • Maintenance-free living
  • Easy access to world-class shopping, dining and entertainment choices of Washington, D.C.

In fact, you may find that with so many choices, it will not always be easy to leave behind your life to visit the family. But you’ll know you truly have the best of both worlds waiting for you at either end.

Call (202) 905-0018 if you have any questions or would like to schedule a personalized tour today.

Ingleside at Rock Creek: Engaged Living




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